Would you be in a relationship with me?

 When Kevin first proposed this topic, I was like...um, okay....kinda scary topic, because of all the preconceived notions about DID from society.

But thinking more about it, the topic, I realized that my husband, lived with me for over 34 yrs and never realized I even had DID.  So, I guess the "monster" theory was thrown out the window there! ha

What he did know was I was severely depressed, would have outburst of anger, would have "emotional reactions" maybe not appropriate for a certain situation, or he would just flat, ignore me.  He would blow me off as "well thats just the way she is, she will get over it"....You see, he was too preoccupied by his education, his career, his God, his kids, to ever really "hear" or "see" me, I was just a means to an end, mom, wife, maid, servant, etc...I was never his wife, his equal partner.   He never listened to me when I would try and share "memories" or childhood incidences, he would always say "I need to pray about that, or God will help you",  blah....He could not be bothered by me, not in a psychological way, he left that up to me to try and find help through the mental health establishment by myself.   So I had no advocate by him,  I was alone.   

My entire life, I have had alternate personalities and no one knew or suspected.  Alters hide in plain sight and that sight is pretending to be me, the host, Sparrow.   It takes a keen eye to notice the subtle changes in me when one of them fronts, it takes a person to really "want" to know, understand, and support another person as a team.   Kevin asks questions, he engages the alters, he has learned their likes and dislikes, which are all ME.   He does not lecture me, does not preach to me and certainly does not leave me alone in my mental health fight.  This is a true advocate.

I can be a lot of fun.  I am a natural comedian.  I am outgoing and love new adventures, I have an uncanny connection to all animals,  I love laughing and helping others....Is that a horrible thing?  I mean I have DID, isn't that horrible to have?   The only thing truly horrible about having DID is how I came to get this disorder....extreme unrelenting abuse as a child without having any help, no advocate for my safety, and my only protection was my little brain.  THAT IS HORRIBLE.  Not me.

Being free and safe is the best help a person with DID can get.   Free of abuse, safe from abuse, and the help and encouragement of an advocate that is 100% on your side.   Kevin always says to me "I got your back".  and he does.   Just like I have his back.

The title "would you be in a relationship with me?"  doesn't just romantic, it also means, a friendship, a family situation,  a causal acquaintance, a co-worker...there are lots of "relationships" out there, and you might be shocked to know that you may, in fact, already be in a relationship of whatever sort with a person with DID and not even realize it.   

There are millions and millions of DID people all over the globe, and more being made every day behind closed doors to abused children or traumatized children in some way...(war,  whatever) so instead of tisk tissking DID away or refusing to learn and understand it, try and educate yourself and open your eyes to the reality of this disorder.  Chances are in your favor, you just might be in some type of relationship with a person with a disassociate disorder.  

Communication and trust are the keys to having a loving fun and downright excellent relationship with a person who just happens to have DID.  I am so grateful to now have both.

S